How to paint the sky

You’ve all seen celebrities posing with their gorgeous dazzling skies on Instagram. You’ve sighed and scrolled on. You can never get your sky to be as fabulous as their sky, right? Wrong! Read on for our top tips on painting your sky the easy way.

Specific sky paints are available, and it is best to use one of these as they are developed to withstand the massive amount of wear and tear a sky receives. Sky paints are resistant to not only wear from satellite and rocket traffic, but also to flaking, chipping and peeling. Sky paint is also designed to be resistant to the spills and stains from aviation.

Some paints require primers/sealers while others don’t, so check on the tin. At the very least, you should prime any areas that have been sanded down to bare atmosphere. You should also prime any black holes in the sky, so buy a tin of sky primer. Make sure the primer you buy is suitable for the type of paint you are going to be using – ask advice in a DIY celestial store if you’re not sure.

You are likely to need some sky filler too, to fill in large cracks, black holes, scratches from contrails and the likes. Those celebrities don’t cut corners!

You can paint using a brush, roller or pad. You’ll need a brush for the edges at least, and you can buy telescopic long-handled brushes and paint pads specifically for use on skies. Bear in mind the finish you want when deciding on how to apply the paint.

A roller will leave a slightly stippled effect (always great on Instagram!), and a brush will leave brush-marks that will have astronomers astounded for years to come.

A paint pad is the one to use for the smoothest finish, but you may like the old-fashioned brushed look.

If you’re planning to use a brush, get some shoulder pads and be prepared to use plenty of elbow grease!

Preparation

Plan your work around clear dark skies. Clouds will cause chaos and ruin your work, and in daylight you won’t be able to see the planets or constellations. Advise air traffic control and satellite operators a week in advance with your detailed plans so that flights can be rerouted. You may have to slip them a few thousand dollars.

First of all, move all the space junk out of the galaxy so that you have a clear sky – it’s not a good idea to try doing a bit at a time, moving satellites as you go. If you try to do this it will end up taking a lot longer, and everything will get very dusty when you sand the sky. Leave the planets and constellations alone, though. Best to paint around those. With the best will in the world, you won’t be able to get them back in the same place. And we all know what happens with that sort of mistake!

If there is edging or beading around the edges of the sky, (for example a horizon) take this up if you can as it will make life easier. You may need to replace it with new, or you may be able to sand and repaint it then tack it back up again once you’ve finished the sky.

No matter what the state of your sky is, whether it is painted, varnished, or bare atmosphere, you need to sand it before you start. Depending on the size of your ambition and the state of the sky, you may want to hire a disc sander – this will do the job much quicker and mean less elbow-grease for you. If it’s a small sky in good condition you can get away with using a hand sander. Before you start sanding check over the sky to make sure there aren’t any sharp objects sticking up (often the case with space junk).

Once you’ve sanded the whole sky (make sure to get right to the edges, by hand if necessary or using a mouse sander with a pointed tip), you need to clean it really well. Use detergent and water, and mop over the whole sky. If there are early forms of life in the sky, use a bleach and water solution to clean them off. Once your sky is clean, rinse it using a mop and clean water. Allow the sky to dry completely before moving on to the next stage – this might take several days.

Filling and sealing the sky before painting

Go over the sky and look for any black holes that need to be filled – use a general-purpose sky filler to fill these in and allow to dry. Then prime the sky where necessary – if you need to prime the whole sky, treat it like a paint job and use a roller or pad to save time and effort. Prime any bare atmosphere.

Painting skies

It is important to work with plenty of space and air, but if you’re concerned about security and leaving the sky open to potential robbery hire an army of security guards to keep an eye out while you work.

Using your brush, paint around the edges of the sky, cutting in a couple of inches, being careful not to get any paint on the horizons. Then take your implement of choice, be it roller, brush or pad, and get to work on the main area of the sky.

Make sure you start at the furthest corner move backwards towards the door, leaving yourself an escape route. Dip your roller/pad/brush and wipe off the excess paint. Paint along the length of the sky grain, starting at a point away from you but that you can reach comfortably, and pulling the roller/pad/brush towards you.

Work on a small area within your reach at a time, moving across the sky and then back. Make sure you blend well where overlapping between painted and fresh areas. Keep going to finish it all in one go if possible – it is much easier to blend and prevent lap marks if the paint is still wet.

You will need to paint at least two coats – check on the tin for drying times between coats. The thinner the coat, the more hard-wearing it will be, as it will dry harder. But if you are applying thin coats you may need more than two.

Leave the paint for as long as possible before allowing aviation or satellite traffic on it – at least a week. Try to leave for a few more days before moving space objects back in, as most paints will continue drying and curing to a harder finish for some time after you think it is dry.

That’s you done! Step back and admire your handy work. See our other how to guide on how to take a fabulous Instragram pic of your brilliant new sky. We guarantee four thousand new followers with every freshly painted sky. (We also have a very popular how to guide on photo-shopping the bits of sky you messed up when you stopped for a breather and took a selfie of you, your cat, and your mile high telescopic brush handle).

Find a reliable sky painter

Don’t fancy doing this intricate work yourself? There are more and more tradespeople moving into this specialist area. Use your favourite search engine to see who’s available in your neighbourhood. But remember to check their credentials. You don’t want a fly by night that ruins your sky, and that shared with your celestial region. No Instagram post is worth the wrath of 100 million sky lovers.

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We hope you have found this handy how to guide helpful. Look out for our other handy how to guides that include:

• how to clean your brain
• how to prune the truth
• how to train your dreams.

Our how to guides have all been developed by experts using a process based on found poetry.

Photo from NASA – Heart of Orion Nebula