Comfort Purchases
A sumptuous fake black fur coat.
An indoor turbo bike trainer.
A frozen lobster (to eat, not keep as a pet).
A family size bag of Scotmid’s finest cheese puffs. £1. For a family of one.
Signs of panic
Responding to a troll on twitter.
Responding to another troll on twitter.
Stalking trolls on twitter to assess their trollness on a scale of 1-10.
Becoming a troll on twitter.
Physical symptoms
Glasses of three years suddenly too tight and need adjusted immediately.
Headache caused by glasses that are too tight is sinister and life threatening.
Jaw pain connected to the neck pain connected to the shoulder pain connected to the arm pain connected to the sinister headache.
Strange redness appearing on one toe then another then another. Gangrene. Must be gangrene.
WhatsApp messages (received)
OMG
4 weeks childcare and trying to work not pretty honestly think it might be 12.
Sending 100kg of cotton wool (from NZ).
OK. So pissed off mainly tbh at the effing incompetence.
Panic buying
Potatoes
Onions
Toilet roll
Cheese puffs
Commitments
I will read Ulysses (I won’t).
I will finish my brilliant novel about a climate disaster (I won’t).
I will finish my last year’s less brilliant novel about a flat earther (I won’t).
I will finish all the half-arsed short stories sitting in my drafts folder and submit them all to the world’s most important literary magazines and anthologies (who am I kidding?).
How are you? Really?
Tired anxious bored listless fed up frightened pissed off stiff sore nervous bored tired frustrated exhausted frightened sore stiff fragmented spiraling dipping on edge listless did I say listless yet flustered rattled bothered harassed unnerved flapping listless sore worried dithering feverish upset tired bored frightened tremulous panicky pissed off idle bone idle troubled disturbed perturbed reverbed unnerved but the sky’s nice have you seen the sky?
SANDERLINGS 