Darlene

Christ. Am ah sorry. No, yes. No. Stupid bloody word. We do what’s right. What’s needed. Ah did what’s right. When it’s right there aint no point in feelin sorry. You deserved it. You know that. There weren’t no secrets. Ah am what ah am. Never said otherwise. Poor lamb. Look how you bleed. Young blood. Lost youth. Not lost. You chucked it. Ah didn’t see it comin. Ah can stand a lot of things, Wyatt, you seen me stand them. You know that. Pain. Hunger. Fuckin rain. Fuckin crop dug over. But betrayal? No one betrays Darlene. Not even you. Specially not you. Exceptional you aint. No one exceptional in Darlene’s world. Except Zeke. Good in the sack. Hadn’t expected that. Made me feel twenty five. That smooth bubby skin of yours. Those kinky little curls twined around your thumb. The way you cleaned your ice-cream bowl round and round with your pinkie. Same as you cleaned off the mirror after snortin a line. Somethin dead innocent about you. Saw that from the start. Way you twinkled at me. Rubbed that chocolate jelly-ice over my tongue. Was fair taken by you. That’s why ah moved you in. Trusted you, Wyatt. Livin in ma house. Stirrin ma tea just right. Two sugars and a half. Quick learner. Stompin in the old boy’s boots. Dead man’s boots. Ironin sheets. Young cub stompin in dead man’s boots. What a hoot first time saw you do that. Practical. Ah like a man practical. Good with your hands. Peelin off ma dungarees that tender you’d think ah was a baby in dirty diapers. Ah trusted you Wyatt. Fucked you. Don’t just fuck anyone son. You knew that. Knew ah loved Jacob, God knows ah cared bout that man. More than anythin. Who wouldn’t love an old slub like that. Together thirty years. But the farm, he forgot to love the farm Jacob. Nothin worse than betrayin the land.

Christ, if you’d needed money you only had to ask. Whole bloody chest of the stuff dug under the timber shed out back. Told you Christ more than once just take what you need don’t want for nothing Wyatt plenty there’s always plenty. Little Zeke, proper darlin of ma life. Jacob shot blanks. I shot him. Yeah, few steps in between but true anyway. Jacob shoulda got his bone idle sperm swimmin not floatin about on fucking lilos wouldn’t a needed little Zeke and ah wouldn’t a needed to protect him from you cos ah would a had ma own boy, ma own son and he’d be grown up now just like you Wyatt just like you. How much did that fuck Marty offer you? Or was it Wendy? Did she flick her hair Wyatt and pout that pussy at you? Not even hers, Zeke, little angel born from the wife of that prick the god follower rest his soul hers too. Got themselves in too deep. God botherers should stick to god and leave the business side a things to us experts. Nothing gets between me and baby Zeke, Wyatt. Not one thing. You shoulda known. Told you often enough. Told you the cops are in ma pocket for years. A weekl hand-job and the odd pay-off all it takes. Stupidly cheap. They know what’s best for this community. This farm’s an employer Wyatt. Half the town puttin food in their bellies from this farm. That’s community. That’s ma contribution. What were you gonna do? That bull-arse captain’s not as daft as he looks. He told me. Marty was gonna pay you some whack to get little Zeke back. Ma baby. You were gonna steal ma baby. Gonna lift him out of his crib there in the best room in the dead a night when ah was sleepin ? Didn’t think ah was guardin that little boy with every sinew in my body? Every sleepin breath? Didn’t think I’d hear your pretty bare feet pad pad those creakin floorboards? Best thing Jacob never did, not fixin them floorboards. Those creaks saved me more than once. Didn’t need no camera with those floorboards son. Darlene’s got trip wire wired in her own brain. No moral fiber, Wyatt. You shoulda learned from your mad sister Ruthie. That’s a strong woman. Don’t take no shit no betrayal no nothin from anyone. Ah got time for that woman. Such a mess. Such a waste. Marty’s next. Ahm tolerant that’s for sure but I’m not toleratin this. Not ma baby. Jacob had to go. You had to go. You men, you boys, thick as weasel shit. You think we dot about with apron strings and fanny about dunkin donuts. Know what? Almost fell in love with you son. They laughed at us, in the street and all. You young enough to be ma grandson. I stood by you. Didn’t take no shit from no one.

You know what ahm sorry about, Wyatt? That I shot you in the fuckin kitchen. What a godforsaken mess to clean up. Here you are your brains all over them pretty tiles your disloyality  all over the hob like lacerated liver. Still, should get it cleaned up before that goddam nurse woman turns up. Long as she causes no trouble, Wyatt, she’s safe enough. She thinks she’s checkin on me but ahm watchin her and one step wrong and ah’ll gun her down with the rest of ya.

This week’s writing exercise was fan fiction (this is my first attempt at it).