February 2020, Edinburgh
Katherine sent the plan to them a couple of hours after the meeting. It was in Excel. Janet didn’t do Excel. Not because she didn’t understand computers. Of course she did. She just did words better than numbers. Why put words in cells when you could put them on a page? She scrolled through the columns, sighing and tutting.
Cyril. (There’s no column for Cyril. Why hasn’t he got a column. Have they all forgotten what this is about? Katherine will have to add him in. Straight away. Note to self to tell her..)
Budget. £15,000 operating budget. All receipts to go to Bessie. Bessie will refund within 24 hours. (Why is Bessie insisting on paying all that money. Where did she get it? Patronising. Still, a PI expensive. If they want to pay up to them. B feeling guilty?)
Communications. WhatsApp. Everyone to change email passwords regularly. No talking to the Press. (For God’s sake, who’s going to hack my email? It’s a cloud not the bloody First Minister. I’ll forget the new password a minute after I’ve changed it. Should have argued about the press at the meeting. Be better to have press interest. Flush them out. Note to self – bring that up at next meeting.)
Katherine. Prepare and keep project plan up to date (DONE). (Not as organised as she wants us to think – found her note on the table after she left – can’t even draw a cloud!)
Katherine. Set up new profile on social media for undercover. (Can’t wait to see the pictures and the wig. She has to wear a wig. Could I choose the wig? Can’t look too pretty. Threat to Amy. Has she thought that through? But attractive enough for Dan? Hope she doesn’t irritate Amy. Could ruin the whole thing.)
Jeremy. All decisions to go through him. He’ll respond within six hours. (Easier to keep the peace and just let him think he’s the boss. and anyway we need him. Wish Katherine wouldn’t goad him. How did Bessie bring up such a chauvinist pig? She’s supposed to be a feminist.)
Jeremy. Will hire investigator by end of week. (At least I got him to get a women. Hope she gets on with Katherine. She’s bossy. Might think it’s competition. Exciting, a private investigator.. Can’t wait to meet her. Hope she doesn’t investigate me. Have to prevent..)
Bessie. To put together a file on ARPL. Everything in public domain. (Why Bessie – isn’t a researcher? Is J trying to keep her away from the important stuff?)
Janet. To write a full brief for the PI on the details of the theft by Thursday. Include photos. (Why do they insist on using the word theft. Demeaning. Sounds like a pair of shoes or an old purse.).
All. To keep looking up. (Glad I got that in. He might have escaped and is trying to get home. So dangerous. How would he know how to get back? They wont recognise him. But I would. Especially if he tinkled. Miss his tinkles.)
All. Next meeting on Friday (on-line). All to report on their actions. (Will K come in her disguise?. J would be angry. Can’t have any falling outs.)
To be continued.
SANDERLINGS 